Once again, after a moment of hesitation, all of the hands in the room went up.
#Dirty old gay men how to#
I then asked the same gay men to raise their hand if in the past week they offered a woman unsolicited advice about how to “improve” her body or her fashion. After a moment of hesitation, all of the hands of the gay men in the room went up. Over at The Good Men Project, Yolo Akili writes:Īt a recent presentation, I asked all of the gay male students in the room to raise their hand if in the past week they touched a woman’s body without her consent. Gay men were allowed to say things like, “I find vaginas so alien” or more reductively, “Ew!” at the mention of female anatomy because such responses were viewed as hilarious, because the negative implications of such humor wasn’t ever really dissected…
Unsurprisingly, this persona–vetted by mainstream media–allowed a gay men a liberal margin of misogyny, allowing them to write such behavior off as part of their identity. Popular culture was teaching its consumers that to be gay was to be like Will or Jack from Will & Grace. Popular culture was teaching newly-out gay men that they could be welcomed into the heteronormative fold so long as they shoehorned themselves into these pre-approved molds of gay male identity.
This persona was defined by attention to detail, upscale tastes, sartorial sensibilities, casual promiscuity, a penchant for dance pop, and being bitchy. Small, embedded quotes are for wussies, so have a whole bucket of Guha (The Last Paragraph Will KILL You):
The basic claim is that, as generally degrading as our society is to women, “gay culture” is just as bad, though uniquely so, and with the caveat that, unlike the at-least-theoretically frown-deserving nature of heterosexual objectification and degradation of women, “mainstream culture has sanctioned gay misogyny against women as winky, as part of the package of characteristics that “gay people just have.” In a section of the article entitled “Culture Proxies as Role Models,” Guha speaks about the manufactured object known as The Gay Man as a primary reason for this “pass” on misogyny. Misfortune, because it has that marvelous quality of all nuanced thought, namely, that it will piss off everyone - your average champion and defender of all things LGBTQA (or was it GLBTQ2IA?) and Christians with any inkling of what their faith demands (because it takes for granted the premises of our current ethic regarding our fantastically fun genitalia). The article has the fortunate misfortune of being a critique of - for a serious lack of a better term - mainstream gay culture, written by a gentleman living in its midst.
#Dirty old gay men full#
Finally, I became a sex object, a ’man toy,’ to cute guys much younger than myself.”ĭirty Young Men and Other Gay Stories is packed full of erotic true stories from the author’s real life experience.The article was “The Myth of the Fag Hag and Dirty Secrets of the Gay Male Subculture,” by Rohin Guha, re-published on the ever-wonderful and longsuffering Jezebel. Wouldn’t it be nice, I kept hoping, if for once I would fulfill somebody’s sexual fantasies, and be picked for just this reason? Well, at the age of fifty-five, my daydreams started to become a reality. I hadn’t been selected out of a crowd just because someone thought I would be a good lay. Before reaching this age, nobody had ever been infatuated with my looks or physique. In Dirty Young Men and Other Gay Stories, he relates his experiences with them in intimate detail.ĭirty Young Men and Other Gay Stories is packed full of true younger-loves-older stories from all walks of life and from different countries.įrom the author: “It took me until my middle fifties to become a sex object. Joseph Itiel (author of Escort Tales A Consumer’s Guide to Male Hustlers and Sex Workers as Virtual Boyfriends), now in his early seventies, has discovered such young fellows. But a few young guys, sometimes even married ones, are erotically attracted to old men, because of their age. It is well known that to most gay men, a shapely, youthful body is the ultimate turn-on. Come on a journey of erotic discovery where young guys seek out old gentlemen!